Mark your calendar, 'cuz Jesus Christ is coming again, on May 21, 2011 ...

Do Facebook users forfeit their 4th Amendment protections? ...

Q-Tip is not happy with Michael Rapaport's new documentary ...

United States law enforcement agencies track Americans in real-time using credit cards, loyalty cards and travel reservations without getting a court order ...

Wikileaks publisher Julian Assange says "poison pill of damaging secrets" will be released if he's killed or arrested ...

Ward Churchill won't be getting his old job back ...

What will Santa bring Christina Hendricks? A banana! ...

Former site of Ted Kaczynski's Luddite hideaway for sale ...

Governor Christopher J. Christie (R-New Jersey) gets billed $271M for nixing tunnel already under construction ...

Dane Cook's embezzling relatives must pay him $12M ...

“Has the Federal Reserve become the central bank of the world?" ...

84-year-old Queen Elizabeth II's 42-year-old underwear is for sale ...

Mick Hucknall of Simply Red issues a public apology to all the women he's slept with ...

Library of Congress blocks access to Wikileaks … and Swiss bank seizes Wikileaks publisher Julian Assange's account … and Assange is arrested in England, denied bail of course, and says he'll fight extradition to Sweden ...

Kevin Smith vents over being treated crappy by Virgin America ...

"The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered," says dying Elizabeth Edwards ...

Ed O'Neill disses Jane Lynch's Emmy win for Glee ...

Floyd Mayweather, Jr. is charged with battery for allegedly poking a man in the cheekbone with his finger ...

US Homeland Security Department and Wal-Mart team up to fight terrorism in the checkout line ...

Julian Assange says "Don't shoot the messenger for revealing uncomfortable truths" — and the Wikileaks leaks continue … Saudi Arabia, America's purported key ally in the Arab world, is a cash machine for terrorists … and DynCorp helped pimp little boys to stoned Afghan cops … and these cables from Baghdad paint a grim picture of why America's stunning military victory over Iraq devolved into disaster ...

Why is Michelle Williams' sex scene rated NC-17 while Natalie Portman's is rated R? ...

BP says the damage from its oil catastrophe was exaggerated, but "everything's dead" for eighty miles on the floor of the Gulf of Mexico ...

Leave Willie Nelson the f*ck alone over for pot possession, says good bud Snoop Dogg ...

National Basketball Association is about to buy (and save) the New Orleans Hornets ...

The Onion now offers franchising opportunities ...

Bank of America will pay $137M to escape prosecution for fraud, kickbacks, collusion, etc. ...

John James Audubon's 1830s masterpiece goes up for auction ...

Tommy Lee demands SeaWorld stop using cow vaginas to masturbate killer whales ...

Hey, that ain't spam — Nigerian authorities file charges against former US Vice President Dick Cheney and several others over a Halliburton bribery scandal ...

Aretha Franklin receives an outpouring of support amid troubled health reports ...

Elon Musk's SpaceX Dragon spacecraft successfully launches, reaches orbit ...

John Lennon's son Sean reveals an unlikely enthusiasm for firing guns ...

United States lobbied Russia on behalf of Visa and MasterCard ...

Diddy works to make the holidays safer ...

Sweet golden parachute for retiring Massey Energy CEO Don L. Blankenship ...

Can bare boobs help defend Denmark from religious fundamentalists? ...

Nutball Randy Quaid and his equally nutball wife will put their crazy into book form ...

Miley Cyrus is caught smoking from bong ...

At Nobel Peace Prize ceremony, recipient Liu Xiaobo is represented only by words, still censored in China ...

Wikileaked dispatches reveal that the US and China, the world's top two polluters, joined forces to stymie every attempt by European nations to reach agreement at last year's Copenhagen climate summit ...

Jim Morrison, though long dead, is pardoned on 1969 indecent exposure conviction ...

Johnson & Johnson now offers Rolaids with metal and wood bits ...

TV Guide issues retraction for misquoting Ed O'Neill on Jane Lynch’s Emmy win ...

Carly Simon loses in court to Starbucks (again) ...

Indian officials say airport patdown of ambassador is "unacceptable" ...

Wesley Snipes reports to prison to begin sentence ...

Lindsay Lohan won't go on Dancing with the Stars until her life and career have hit rock bottom, which is not yet, apparently ...

Gay sex ought to be outlawed, says American Family Association's Bryan Fischer ...

Salvation Army bans Harry Potter and Twilight toys for Christmas ...

Maverick US Rep Ron Paul (R-Texas) on Wikileaks: "Was it not once considered patriotic to stand up to our government when it is wrong?" ...

Elizabeth Smart says justice is served after federal jury finds kidnapper guilty ...

Capital One sues cardholder for $286M over $4,000 debt, then fails to appear in court ...

FBI arbitrarily covers up evidence of misconduct ...

US Rep Eric Cantor (R-Virginia) hosts Festivus fundraiser ...

Texas film commission reneges on tax incentives for Robert Rodriguez ...

Kettled Prince Charles criticized for showing fear as protesters cry Off with their heads! ...

Ten years ago, Blockbuster Video laughed at a Netflix partnership offer, but who's laughing now? ...

Swindler Bernard L. Madoff's son is found hanged ...

Jailed in solitary confinement, Julian Assange languishes in Oscar Wilde's old prison cell ...

The Onion apologizes for the most amazing review of the year ...

Chris Rock calms pregnant woman after her water breaks at mall ...

Globetrotting journalist Brenda Starr quits the newspaper business ...